Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Taking Bets

We get real winter weather every few years.
Real winter is defined as:
Temperatures that rarely make it out of the 30s for months on end.
Temperatures that make it into the single digits, frequently.
Temperatures that make it into the 50s is considered a freak occurrence.
~as defined by Carla who used to reside in Missouri and who has relatives in North Dakota and Minnesota.

Thursday Night's Forecast

Precipitation falls almost exclusively as snow, ice, sleet or a combination of all three.
Rain is a freak occurrence.

People that live in places that have real winters have some or all of the following:
snow shovels,
snow blowers, 
children that are forced to use aforementioned tools, 
children that have to go to the bathroom as soon as they've been packed into 5 layers of clothing to go outdoors to play (because they aren't old enough to shovel snow--yet),
children that come indoors after 5 minutes of being outdoors because it's cold and they have snow in their boots,
snow boots,
cat litter in their car trunks in case they get stuck,  
hats that aren't purely a fashion accessory, 
gloves that aren't purely a fashion accessory,
scarves that aren't purely a fashion accessory,
fireplaces that aren't purely a fashion accessory, 
heated steering wheels and heated seats that aren't purely a fashion accessory, 
coats for cold, colder, really cold, and "only-the-crazy-go-outdoors"cold, 
flannel sheets, 
electric blankets,
3 dogs--for when you need 3 dogs to keep you warm at night,
multiple ice scrapers in each car, all of which are mysteriously missing when you need one.
I've missed a few, I'm certain.

Most importantly, people that live in places with real winters go to work, school, the grocery store, the movies, the mall, out to eat, and outdoors in general.

Friday's Forecast

In the South we do not have real winter.
We don't know how to do real winter.
When real winter mistakenly comes to Austin, the city and its people shut down.
Just the chance of wintery precipitation will close businesses and schools.
Not kidding.
Which is a drag because with the kids home from school, it would be nice to go to a movie or the mall.
Nobody is willing to get in a car accident so my kid can see a movie or so I can buy a less fashionable, more utilitarian hat.
Trouble is, there's never even enough snow to make a snowman or go sledding.

So, on Friday, I'll be on my computer.
Quinn will be in bed until late.
The dogs and cat will be in and out of the house a million times to check to see if it's still cold.
My heater will not shut off, but I'll still be cold.
Eric may or may not get home from being out of town.
Oh, did I forget---they close the airport too.


It may not snow, sleet or ice at all.
I'm taking bets.
You in?

Update:  We did, indeed, get wintery weather.  School was cancelled.  200+ car accidents.
What I don't understand is that the weather channel pictures I posted of my weather and my storm have mysteriously changed.  Our storm was named Kronos.  As I type this, I see pictures of the deep south (not Texas) and a storm named Leon. 
Go figure?


  1. We'll take your "snow." We have all the gear but are missing out on the white cold stuff. My cross-country skis and my four wheel drive car with snow tires are sitting--waiting--and growling at the east coast for hogging it all. Stay warm!

  2. Boy, did you ever "peg" us Northerners correctly. I have all of the above mentioned gear. And the frigid temps and snow to go with it. Us Northerners have to laugh at the Southerners whenever you guys get snow. No matter just stay warm and safe.

  3. Send your snow this way...we need it! Badly. Weird that all the snow is way over there, nothing over here.


  4. Young couple I know moved to Minnesota this past summer. He grew up there. Wife grew up in Germany. Five year old knew Cincinnati area weather and got so excited any time it would snow. Child is in heaven. Maria, her mom, said they have joined the ranks of true Minnesotans by going to the indoor water park on coldest day of year:)

  5. Winter this year is ugly...ugh...that is all...signing off to curl up and die

    Just kidding...but ugh