Tuesday, November 4, 2008

A Plea to the Next President

A moment of brevity on this, a very important day.
Listen, I know you'll be a little busy in the coming months with the war and the economy, and global warming and stuff.  One of you talks of 'change' and the other talks of being a 'maverick', so either one of you could tackle the assignment I'd like to give you.  I mean, you will work for me (check your contract).  

I know, you'll be attending important meetings, giving interviews to whole rooms of mean old media people, making really important decisions, trying to please, all of the people all of the time, all while being the most powerful man in the universe. No pressure or anything. 

Oh, don't forget your wife and family.  They might need an occasional hug to get them through all the times when you're too busy running the world to sit down and eat a little dinner.  A little love note or an email professing your love would go a long way.  So would putting down the toilet seat and putting the cap back on the toothpaste.  And for goodness sakes, if you use the last bit of toilet paper, change the roll.  Yes, I know you "have people that will do that", but take that moment to remember that you are human.  The most powerful man in the universe can surely tackle the toilet paper roll.

You have a year to work on my request--well, 6 months really.  Maybe while you're in the bathroom changing the TP roll, you could give it some thought.  I'm assuming the secret service doesn't follow you in there?  You could also give it some thought when you're at a really boring state dinner with the president of Tinyislanddonthavenooilistan.  All he'd have to talk about, was whether his island was going to be under water in a few years because of global warming.  I know you are the master of multitasking, because you wouldn't be in the Oval Office if you weren't.  

My one request requires just one announcement---you could make it at your first State of the Union address.  You would be the most popular president in our nation's history.  Your approval rating would go through the roof.  It's something that could bring our nation together.  It's something that could heal old wounds. Congress and the House would 'skip to my lou' while holding hands.  All the Supreme Court Justices would agree, unanimously.  It would require only 5 words.  You can do it!  Just practice a bit and they'll roll off your tongue without any cue cards or teleprompters.

"No More Daylight Savings Time"



  1. Ahahahah! Good post! I love that idea. We need to start a petition. I think my little guy is all wanky right now due to DST....I much preferred it when I didnt actually see 6 am.

  2. It doesn't matter if I'm supposed to gain or lose an hour of sleep, I'm always a tired zombie the week of the time change.

  3. ahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa!

  4. How could one hour make me such a crazy person. I can go to the East coast and be happy as a clam (1 hr. time difference). I guess while on vacation, you don't care about things like feeding animals and getting kids to bed and feeling like a zombie.
    Here's the rational for DST. The good news is, we aren't the only crazy country to follow the idea.

  5. Amen!!! I positively HATE this changing time every six months. I don't care if it's standard time or daylight savings time, but just pick one and stick with it. NO more changes! (cute post BTW ;-)

  6. I love DST, I HATE when we go off it in the fall. I think the best thing Bush ever did was extending DST but a few weeks.

  7. I actually love daylight savings time, too...but the return to standard time is a real bummer. This was a funny post.

    (btw...thanks a lot for checking on me - i'm doing ok - you brought a smile to my face... i looked for your email address to send you this offline, but yours, like mine, isn't posted) A bunch of privacy freaks, we are!! :-)

  8. DST is a thorn in my side because it affects my work! Arrrgh...

    And something tells me that he seems like a pretty conscientious guy when it comes to things like TP. Check out this link and the picture where he wipes up his own mess during a campaign stop. You can't fake "genuine" like that!